I want Master to re establish our dynamic and start using discipline again. it’s been an area of sadness for me for a long time.
Well, he’s decided to. I’m in trouble. What issue did he choose to bring focus and clarity back to our relationship? Toilet paper. Yes, really. He is ticked that he ran out. Why did he have to pick toilet paper? That’s the one item I thought was the stupidest thing I have ever been punished for.
And now it’s come back to haunt me. Seriously? I’m glad Master is wanting to bring us back to a good place. I appreciate it.
But come on. I don’t think I’ll ever have the right attitude on this issue.
I’ll let everyone (all 3 of you who still read) know how it goes. But damn it. Toilet paper. *grumble grumble*
Um, okay…well, I am glad for your sake that he is reasserting control!
Comment by swfloridabrat — August 3, 2009 @ 9:43 PM
Looking at it from his viewpoint, it’s a simple little thing that should be easy for you to take care of, which is an extremely irritating nuisance for him when it is NOT taken care of. There are few things worse than sitting on a toilet, doing your business, and then realizing you have no paper with which to complete the process. (Been there; made the mistake of sitting down in a public restroom once, doing what I came to do, and THEN noticing the TP dispenser was empty. Ick.) So, yes, it’s trivial, and unerotic, and unromantic, but it’s definitely a major “quality of life” issue when it goes wrong. And it points out that what he focuses on — the kind of guy he is — are not the grand, epic-scale issues of spiritual progress or emotional development — it’s his own, personal, petty comfort and convenience. If you want to be HIS slave (not just A slave), seems like you’ll have to accept that.
Comment by Michael — August 3, 2009 @ 11:37 PM
Well, it had to be something. So just let go of resenting TP and let the butterflies churn, and get your head back in the right place.
Oh, and congratulations. Really, it’s a step toward getting back to a place you want to be.
Comment by Billy — August 4, 2009 @ 4:45 AM
OK, I have no comment about toilet paper, but I just wanted to comment anyway so you know that at least four of us still read your blog.
Comment by indy — August 5, 2009 @ 7:52 AM
Make that five! Good to see you back, Bridget!
It sounds to me as if your Master is making his own decision about what is important and what’s not…maybe, for him, having enough hygiene supplies IS important, whereas a slave’s opinions about it are not?
Comment by kannakat — August 6, 2009 @ 10:24 AM