Friends

Yesterday afternoon Master loaded up all three kids and took off in the car. He is taking them to his Grandmother’s for Thanksgiving.  I wish I was going with him, but I couldn’t have gotten the time off work and I really need to see my parents since I may not see them at Christmas.  Obviously, CC did not go with him either.

I have been hoping to spend time with her since Master moved out, but so far (granted it’s only been three nights) she’s filled her time in other ways. Last night she was planning to be gone over night, and I was trying to decide how to fill my own time when Jessie pointed out that the discussion group our mutual friends run was scheduled for last night. I decided to go, and CC and Jessie did too for most of it.

The topic was nurturing. I can’t say that I had a lot of insight into it, but it was definitely interesting.  As it turned out it was a good thing CC and Jessie left when they did, because almost as soon as they walked out the door we were instructed to write what we would do for our partners to nurture them, and I lost it.  I’ve been trying to keep my overt displays to a minimum especially with CC, but I’m only partially succeeding. I’m glad she wasn’t there to see this.

Anyway, aside from feeling like an idiot for crying in front of everyone, it turned out to be a fairly positive thing. After the discussion I was whisked away to Dennys for an appetizer plate and a long talk. I mostly just rambled, but I appreciated the company and the opportunity to get some of this out. It was nice just to have some validation.  Anyone who reads here knows because I bitch about it a lot, but I think I’m in the toughest position here. I suspect all three of us probably think we are in the toughest position.

I think these friends of mine have a different perspective on the situation than other people I have talked to. They agree that the trip he took was part of his path and that he needed to finish it. Most everyone else I know has said he shouldn’t have left in the first place. I’m really sad about the direction things are going now because I feel like he really should have finished his trip.  Coming home early really derailed things and I feel like this should not have happened the way it’s happening. I’m also sad because I feel he will have to finish it sometime, and once again I’ll be left alone while he does this.

So anyway, this isn’t quite the positive post I intended to write, but neither is it fully negative. I’m getting to know some new friends, and I have a bit of support in these tough times. All I can do is wait this out.